I’m Kayla, and I’m married to Ben. We’ve had loud fights, quiet tears, and a lot of pizza on the floor. We tried many marriage books. Fine. But the verses? Those stuck. Not like magic. More like road signs. Short. Clear. Hard to ignore. If you’re hunting for a deeper list, this candid rundown of Bible verses for marriage from Barnabas captures many of the same signposts we followed. You can also skim a straight-up verse bank like this searchable collection of Scriptures about marriage for quick reference.
Here’s what we used, how we used it, and what didn’t work at all. I’ll be honest. Some verses felt sweet. Some felt like sandpaper. Both helped.
The everyday verses we reach for
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1 Corinthians 13:4–7 (NIV): “Love is patient, love is kind… it is not easily angered… it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
- How we used it: One night, we argued about money. I read this out loud. Line by line. It slowed my voice. It calmed the room. It didn’t fix the budget. But it fixed me.
- The snag: It can feel like a hammer. “Be patient!” Not great when your spouse is wound up. We learned to aim it at ourselves first.
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James 1:19 (NIV): “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
- How we used it: We wrote “QLS” on a sticky note by the sink. Quick to listen. Slow to speak. Slow to anger. During one kitchen meltdown, I saw the note, took a breath, and asked, “What did you hear me say?” That question saved the night.
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Proverbs 15:1 (NIV): “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
- How we used it: We kept texting during a fight. Bad plan. We made a rule: if we start being snippy, we switch to voice only. A gentle tone beats a clever line.
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Ephesians 4:2–3 (NIV): “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
- Real talk: Feels soft. It’s not. Humble and gentle is hard work. When both of us try, the house gets quiet fast. When one of us doesn’t, it stings. We still try.
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Colossians 3:14 (NIV): “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
- How we used it: On laundry day, we made a “put on” list: love, patience, kindness. We taped it to the washer. Cheesy? Sure. But it helped more than you’d think.
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Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 (NIV): “Two are better than one… a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
- How we used it: We said this before moving a couch. Then later during a health scare. Same verse, two moods. It held both.
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Ruth 1:16–17 (NIV): “Where you go I will go… Your people will be my people.”
- Note: It’s about Ruth and Naomi, not a husband and wife. Still, we used it in our vows. It fits the promise to stay. We liked that it was gritty, not cute.
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Genesis 2:24 (NIV): “A man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
- How we used it: Holidays were messy. Two families, one car. We set new boundaries. Less guilt, more peace. This verse gave us backbone. If the idea of that one-flesh bond makes you wonder about modern talk of “soul ties,” I walked through a practical experiment in this deep dive on soul ties in the Bible.
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Philippians 2:3–4 (NIV): “Do nothing out of selfish ambition… value others above yourselves.”
- How we used it: We ask, “What matters most to you in this?” That question trims the fight down to size.
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Song of Songs 8:6–7 (NIV): “Love is as strong as death… many waters cannot quench love.”
- How we used it: We read this on our anniversary with ice cream. It felt bold and warm. Romance meets spine.
Verses for rough seasons
Big stress hits marriage hard. These helped when we had job loss and a long, sad week after a miscarriage.
- Psalm 34:18 (NIV): “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.”
- Matthew 11:28 (NIV): “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
- Isaiah 41:10 (NIV): “Do not fear, for I am with you… I will strengthen you and help you.”
We read them before bed. Not long. Not loud. Just steady. It took the edge off. It held our hands when we couldn’t hold each other’s well. If the hurt in your marriage runs deeper and you’re rebuilding trust, this honest, heart-level review of Bible verses for broken relationships gave us words we couldn’t find. And when job-hunt rejections piled up, I leaned on a fresh collection of verses about new beginnings to remind us that “starting over” isn’t failure.
What actually worked at home
- We kept verses short. One or two lines. Easy to recall in a fight.
- We used one translation at home (NIV). Fewer “But my version says…” debates.
- We made tiny habits:
- A 3×5 card on the mirror.
- One verse on the fridge, under a leaf magnet.
- A shared note in the YouVersion app with highlights.
When we wanted a quick, shareable devotional thought, we sometimes grabbed a one-line prompt from Barnabas, and it slid right in alongside the sticky notes on our fridge.
- We added a code word. “Yellow light.” That meant slow down, no blame, listen first.
- Ben kept a private list of Bible verses for men that challenged him to lead with gentleness, which balanced my own go-to passages.
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What backfired
- Using verses like tools to win. If I quote a verse to corner him, I lose him.
- Reading long passages when we’re hangry. Snack first, scripture second.
- Forcing a verse on a wound. Sometimes you need a hug before a line from Paul.
- A tricky one: 1 Peter 3 can be tough for us. We read it with care and with a good study note. We talk, not weaponize. Kindness leads.
Wedding picks that still hold up
Short readings friends used, and we did too:
- 1 Corinthians 13:4–7
- Ecclesiastes 4:9–12
- Colossians 3:12–14
- Ruth 1:16–17
- Romans 12:10: “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
They fit on a program. They sound good on a mic. They still work when the lights go out and the bills come due. If you’re writing your own ceremony, we found this clear primer on marriage vows that come straight from the Bible helpful for shaping our promises.
Tiny case studies (real moments)
- The sink fight: We were both tired. James 1:19 flashed in my head. I said, “I want to listen first.” It lowered my shoulders. His too.
- The budget standoff: 1 Corinthians 13 helped me cut the sarcasm. We found $75 to save. Not huge. Enough to feel like a win.
- The holiday call: Genesis 2:24 gave us words